Teen Titans: page four! Fight!
Teen Titans page 4.
1/12/08. (Click for bigger!)
Zzzblortch! Shiklackey! Fwapow!
Script
PAGE SEVEN.
Tony, I’m thinking five widescreen panels on top of one another. Let’s keep the action in these wider cinematic panels.
PANEL ONE.
And Cyborg unleashes a huge WHITE SOUND blast from his arm. Ravager leaps out of the way, her main sword still in hand. It eats into the island, searing a chunk of it away. (If you’ve ever seen GHOSTBUSTERS it’s like when HAROLD RAMIS lets loose in the Hotel ballroom and burns away part of that counter.) Ravager’s weapons fly everywhere.
SFX: SHRAKKKKK!!
1. RAVAGER: Ow.
PANEL TWO.
Kid Devil clings to the ceiling with his claws like Spider-Man, maybe hanging from one of the lights if there is one.
2. KID DEVIL: Why’s he ATTACKING us?
3. KID DEVIL: What’s WRONG with him?
PANEL THREE.
Ravager flips out of the way on her hand — avoiding a huge punch thrown by Cyborg. He misses Deathstroke’s daughter and slams his massive fist into the kitchen sink. The sink and part of the counter, and all the dishes, explodes OUT of the Tower and through the window, sailing far into the air.
4. RAVAGER: Considering the last time he saw me –
5. RAVAGER: — I was trying to SLIT Raven’s throat, I’d say NOTHING.
SFX: BOOOOMMM!!
6. RAVAGER: A little help, Eddie.
PANEL FOUR.
Kid Devil leaps down on to Cyborg’s back, clinging on for dear life. He’s doing his best to settle him down.
7. KID DEVIL: We’re NOT bad guys! We’re just having LUNCH!
8. KID DEVIL: We live here!
PANEL FIVE.
Cyborg throws back his elbow, slamming it into Kid Devil’s stomach – which as we’ll soon learn, isn’t the best thing to do to him. It hurts.
SFX: FMPP
9. KID DEVIL: NNNFFF.
Thumbs!
These were tricky. You have to be creative to use wide panels for different angles, but I should get use to it. Comics use a lot of widescreen panels these days.
Roughs!
I had to change Cyborg’s expression in panel 4. He was looking somewhat like Vincent Price to my eye, which was just wrong and weird. I lost his nose and mouth in the final panel, too. Maybe he’s more ominous this way.
And again, another page that simply rocks! We get to see some action, finally!
I have one critique of this page, for panel 3. I love the angle you chose, very cool. However, as Ravager dodges Cyborg’s punch I’m not getting enough of a sense of movement from her. I’m getting the impression that she’s just doing a handstand and that Cyborg just walked up and punched the sink next to her. Maybe extend her left leg a bit more, and put her on one hand, raising her right arm toward the camera? A one handed cartwheel of sorts? Does that make sense? Also, one other little thing bugs me. I feel like the result of Cyborg’s punch has progressed a little too far in that panel. Like I should see the debris and the sink a little closer than they are. Tough considering the directions wanted you to be able to see outside the tower as well, but just a thought.
Thanks for the hi-res image as well! Nice to see all that tight pencil work up close, really sweet. And as usual, we only critique the work we really love, right? Take my comments with a big grain of salt! I’ve never done a comic page in my life!
Haha! Those are the exact words that were playing over and over in my mind as I was finishing that panel. I got a little timid because I toiled over that drawing for so long I didn’t want to touch it. But your suggestions are easy to do, I think, and would really make a lot of difference.
Still, it’s an absurd scene as it is. It’s excellent fodder for a “caption this!” contest.
Your critiques have been really helpful and I hope you’ll continue to tell it like it is. Thanks bud.
Awesome action!!!
Just a little weirdness with the ankle and foot in panel 3.
I haven’t really checked out any comic books in a long time, so I was at Borders friday, and perused a few, and I have to say your work here is as good, and in many cases better than what’s out there.
Wow, thanks a lot Angela. That’s a great compliment.
This is a lofty aspiration, but I hope to someday match up with the greats, like Hal Foster and Alex Raymond, the guys who did the old action comic strips. Those guys had a command of anatomy that allowed them to nail every pose, even when the subject is doing crazy things like handstands.
So anyway, I think Ravager needs a new pose in panel 3. Back to the drawing board!